Anonymous asked: If you have to tell yourself "that doesn't make him gay" fifty times in ONE week I'm just going to go ahead and say it...he's probably gay!!!!
if something looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck
it’s probably a duck
Do you personally know this duck? No you don’t. No matter what the facts are, don’t say you think it’s a duck.
OMG, stop forcing a species on him! Just because you want him to be a duck, that doesn’t give you the right to use everything he quacks as proof that he’s a duck!
LISTEN TO ME WE DO NOT KNOW HIS BINOMIAL NOMENCLATURE AND UNLESS THE DUCK TELLS US WE MUST NOT ASSUME. IT’S SICK AND SLANDEROUS.
THIS IS WHY HE CAN’T LIVE WITH ANOTHER DUCK ANYMORE. HE’S BEEN MOVING FROM BARNYARD TO BARNYARD FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS BECAUSE OF YOU DUCK BELIEVERS.
AND STOP SHOWING HIM POSTERS OF DUCKS IT WILL MAKE HIM UNCOMFORTABLE! (DUCK ME! - IS TOTALLY OKAY THOUGH)
AND JUST BECAUSE HE SHOWS THAT HE’S CLEARLY COMFORTABLE WITH OTHER DUCKS, YOU STILL CAN’T SAY THAT YOU THINK HE’S POSSIBLY A DUCK HIMSELF, BECAUSE THAT’S CLEARLY ORNITHOPHOBIC. (ALSO, IF YOU HAVE A SHIRT SAYING SOMETHING DEROGATORY TOWARDS DUCK BELIEVERS, SO MUCH THE BETTER!)
OF COURSE HE’S COMFORTABLE WITH OTHER DUCKS THEY’RE JUST BRO PALS THAT DOESN’T MAKE HIM A DUCK.
OH, AND JUST SO WE’RE CLEAR: JUST BECAUSE HE’S OKAY WITH DUCKS, DOESN’T MEAN HE IS A DUCK. HE LIKES CHICKENS. CHICKENS WITH EGGS. CHICKENS, CHICKENS, CHICKENS. HE VISITS 410 HEN HOUSES A YEAR!
YOU’RE JUST A JEALOUS CHICKEN THAT DOESN’T WANT HIM TO BE WITH OTHER CHICKENS THAT AREN’T /YOU/ SO YOU’VE MADE UP THIS DISGUSTING FANTASY THAT HE’S A DUCK.
YOU JUST WANT HIM TO BE A DUCK BECAUSE YOU THINK DUCKS ARE HOT. YOU DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT HIM, YOU JUST WANT TO SEE HIM WITH ANOTHER DUCK BECAUSE OF SOME WEIRD SEX THING.
YOU TINHAT CHICKENS ARE JUST FETISHIZING DUCKS.
AND IF YOU’RE A DUCK YOURSELF YOU ARE JUST PROJECTING.
I KNOW A CHICKEN WHO KNOWS A CHICKEN WHO KNOWS A CHICKEN WHO SLEPT WITH HIM. SHE WAS NOT A DUCK. SHE WAS A CHICKEN. AND HE EATS CHICKEN THAT WHISPER ABOUT NOT EATING CHICKEN ON THE TMH TOUR WAS JUST A JOKE
AND NEVERMIND THE FACT THAT HE SEEMS REALLY RESPECTFUL OF CHICKENS, HE’S JUST A REALLY GOOD LIAR. HE GOES THROUGH A CHICKEN A DAY, HE’S THAT GOOD WITH CHICKENS.
YOU ARE RUINING KFC FOR THEM.
HIS EX ROOMMATE BRO PAL DUCK CAN’T EVEN HAVE A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH *HIS* LONG TERM, LOVED UP, PRETTY BROWN FEATHERED CHICKEN, BECAUSE OF ALL THESE DUCK RUMORS!!
LOOK HOW LOVED UP.
MEANWHILE, HERE ARE THE TWO BRO PALS WHO HAVE HAD THEIR FRIENDSHIPS RUINED.
lol stop they’re just bros i know 10 ducks and all of them touch and look at their laddy bro pal ducks that way.
I’ve realized that you can’t really hack someone’s tumblr like you can on Facebook. On Facebook you can update a status to say, “I like dick in the eyeball,” and everyone would be freaked out. On tumblr, people would be like, “yeah man me too.” Then post a gif from supernatural.